I am sad about how much loss I have already accepted
when most of you haven’t even thought about it
day by day future drifting further away
our safe space not so safe anymore
a little blue dot that contains us all
every single last one of us
every grain of rice ever grown
every breath ever taken
every heart break
every kiss
every smile
every tear
every sad face
every scream into the abyss
our civilisation
our history
our shared failures
our collective triumphs
our hope
our memory of the past
our ancestors
our parents
our children
our future
this little blue dot contains us all
our safe space
not so safe anymore
every single day drifting further away
most of you don’t give it a thought at all
but I’m at a loss from how much I’ve already accepted
and I’m sad about it all
Tag: Grief
Over 1000 unique views in 1 month! #100daysofblogging #Day28
When I started this #100daysofblogging challenge 28 days ago, I hadn’t written published a post on this bog since January.
Resultingly I was averaging about 96 unique views per month, or a little over 3 views per day. If you don’t post content, no one is going to come to your site.
Well, maybe 3 people will. But even they don’t hang around long if the content is old.
I have now posted for 28 days in a row. My average unique views per day has increased by more than 1100% to 34 views per day, or 1020 unique views for the month. Not including any this post gets before midnight.
So what are the most popular posts so far…? Continue reading Over 1000 unique views in 1 month! #100daysofblogging #Day28
Feels like yesterday. #100daysofblogging #Day19
The following is 2 verses I wrote recently, dedicated to my brother Tim Skinner and his son Connor Hart, who were taken from us in a tragic accident 1 year ago tomorrow.
few years ago I wrote a song for my bro
had a different message, a very different flow
there was no way then, that I could have known,
I’d never see him again and I was feeling hurt so
I wrote a little song demanding he call me
half my life had passed and I was being haunted,
waking up tearing my heart out in the morning
started as a teen, now I couldn’t ignore it.
dream he was back, wake up he’s gone again
subconscious thought trying to find a way to mend
scars from a past I was barely a part of,
wanted a change but had nowhere to start from
found a way to get a message to you,
but all you had to say is there’s nothing I can do
spoke with your girl and did a few sums
was then I found out about your four year old son
four year old son I found out about on Facebook
cutest little kid with a cheeky little look,
had the skinner chin, younger face of Tim
one single glance revealed the nature of kin
guess I’d hoped Tim you’d open up to me
invite me for a beer, maybe we could speak
hadn’t heard your voice since I was a teen,
and I wanted you to meet the adult version of me
wanted to meet your lady, you to meet my wife,
wanted to play a part in your sons life
but suddenly then, the worst turn of luck
fishing with your son when tragedy struck;
unseen wave came up under the rocks,
swept you off of your feet, both of your lives lost
hardest year through which I have ever been,
the year monther nature took you both permanently.
A New Year – (2013, the year that was).
At the end of each year, like many others I’ve always enjoyed looking back at the year that was and making predictions and plans for how what the next year will be. The end of 2013 was no exception, but I felt a strong need to finish writing and sorting photos for my post “Logging in WA’s South West” before I wrote this post.
For me, 2013 was a year of much personal and professional progress, but also a year of serious emotional ups and downs and mental health challenges like I had never experienced before. I started the year out on the streets of New York, inebriated by too much top-shelf alcohol consumed while watching comedy to bring in the new year at the Gotham Comedy Club. The hectic nature of New York city on New Years Eve was an accurate omen for how the rest of 2013 would play out, over-crowded and full-on.
My story for 2013 is one of a year not for the feint of heart. Continue reading A New Year – (2013, the year that was).
Dealing with death (and other wonderful thoughts)
I gave the title a little colour, but this really is a post about dealing with death. Recently I have had reason to think a lot about death, though it has never really been far from my mind in recent years.
When I was about 12 one of my favourite uncles died, then my best friends father (my basketball coach) during my final year of high school. There was a break then, for 6 longs years until I lost 2 of my friends from high school in just 2 years, both of them best friends, both of them to suicide. Around the same time my grandfather, after receiving a lung transplant and living an extra year and then some, succumbed to emphysema.
These deaths all register as major events in my life and all came with various degrees of grief and resulting personality shifts. But the impact of those was dwarfed by what I experienced when my 19 year old cousin Jessica Rose Joss was taken away from us in a car accident. That one is still hard to even talk about. She was so young and full of energy and life and for that to be extinguished is heartbreaking.
And I guess that’s what I am getting at here. Dealing with death is heartbreaking. Everyone has a different way of dealing with it and none of them are particularly pretty. Continue reading Dealing with death (and other wonderful thoughts)